Readers,
This week, I took notice of several qualities in my school’s “bad kids.” Yes, sorry to say, I do often fall into this very same category, so all of these observations made me take a closer look at myself as well.
In high school, its sometimes too hard to be yourself. I mean, how could it not be? There are so many expectations–good and bad–no matter who you are or where you come from. There will always be a person expecting you to excel, and be the best at everything, and there will always be someone expecting you to fall flat on your face, cry your eyes out, and make a complete and total fool of yourself. It is sometimes hard to find those select few that stand on the middle ground; people who only want to see you try, and to see you happy, and to see you achieve whatever it is you hope to achieve. It is very rare for a teenager, or even an adult, to find even one person who supports them absolutely, no matter what. We, as teenagers, haven’t yet learned how to be our own support, and to block out all positive expectations, negative expectations, and all expectations in-between. It is for this reason that we usually divide into categories, each playing to one of these ideas of us. Today, I will address those [yes, like myself] that respond more to negative expectations.
“Fine, send me to the office.” I’ve heard this same thing said over and over in some of my classes. Its usually spoken by the same kids who talk during lectures, don’t turn in assignments, leave tests blank, and get suspended every other week. Its sad, but most teachers have grown so accustom to having these trouble-makers in their class that they don’t even think to discipline them anymore. On the rare occassion that one of them will get fed up with the constant chatter or the inactivity, they’ll threaten to send the trouble-maker to the office. Stupid. They don’t realize that if a kid has no problem backtalking you in front of the entire class, or letting grades slip away like sand in a collander, they are really not going to care if some bald-headed, jelly-bellied principal with a sweating problem gives them a “stern talking to.” They may pretend to listen, or even act sorry for their actions, but whether its exterior or interior, this kid is rolling his/her eyes so hard that they’re about to roll full out of the socket. Discipline doesn’t mean anything to these kids.
I, Pavlov, can quite often analyze myself and know exactly why I act the way I do, and what I could do to fix it, but then make no move to make any improvements. That’s because I enjoy myself, and I know how to get where I want to get being exactly the way I am. Since I do have some knowledge on the inner-workings of a badass, however, allow me to lay it down for you: We don’t expect much of ourselves. We get so used to people expecting us to fail, and expecting us to be the screw-ups, and the bad guys, and the disobedient ones that it becomes all we can see for ourselves. It sinks in and becomes part of us. That’s the reason discipline doesn’t work. When we’re sent to Mr. Sweaty-Gross McPrincipalpants, all he does is berate us, and tell us how we aren’t getting anywhere, and how disappointing we are. We know that, dumbass. We know how you, and everyone else around us sees us, and we don’t need to be told in a stern, mock-concerned tone, clouded in breath that reeks of Irish coffee and powdered doughnuts.
You really want to help? Instead of bitching at us incessantly, and with no actual resolve, maybe you should try telling us how we can improve, as opposed to just what we’re doing wrong. Let us know that its actually possible for us to be something, and not the nothing that we’ve come to expect ourselves to be.
It sounds corny and clichéd, but we really, honestly, truly just need to be believed in. Most “bad kids” don’t know this about themselves, and they’d swear up and down that the way they are is just the way they are, because that’s the way they are, but they don’t realize just how much a little encouragement would count.
So, to all my fellow badasses: You’re a badass. I’m a badass. We’re both losers, but that’s not the end of the line for us. We really could do anything, no matter what people think, or what we think, or whatever we might imagine to be holding us back. I don’t want to sound all sentimental and after-school-special public-service-announcement, but there are people who care, and know you can do so much better than what others think. You just have to look a little harder. And remember, its not impossible to believe in yourself. Sometimes, its worth a lot more than what anyone else can say or think.
Sincerely yours,
